Happy first day of March!
It’s hard to believe we are well on our way into 2015. My dad sure knew what he was talking about when he said that the older you get, the faster that time goes by. This makes it all the more important to take some time to think about what we’re doing here, what all our running around adds up to.
This past Wednesday, my friends hosted a Chinese New Year’s dinner, that included a ten course meal (we’re talking xiao long bao, crispy duck, pork buns, and other delicious dishes) and sublime entertainment. Upon arriving at the party, guests were encouraged to fill out a name tag not only with their name, but with a quick drawing of what they’d like to manifest in 2015.
Drawing is not one of my strengths, but I managed to sketch out a heart, a dog, and a peace sign. Yeah, yeah - totally cheesy. But it was what I could do to represent what I want to manifest this year! The heart represented openness; the dog, loyalty; and the peace sign (not surprisingly) represented being at peace with myself.
In The Four Loves C.S. Lewis famously states, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” I must be more open and honest both with myself and those in my life. It’s not easy to be open in this way - I’ve been hurt by others when I’m vulnerable, but I’ve also experienced great freedom and stronger relationships from doing so. When we are open to others, it’s inevitable that we’ll come out on the other side with at least a few bruises.
Real talk #1: I'm pretty bad at following up with my long distance relationships. I want to be more loyal to friends and family, and actively engage in relationships despite the distance. Real talk #2: I'm pretty good at flaking/bailing on things that I've told people I will do. Oddly, in San Francisco it's kind of a way of life, but I don't want to be okay with my own failings because of the surrounding culture. I will try my hardest to be more intentionally loyal to my commitments, honoring what that I’ve said “yes” to.
“Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” - Rumi, The Essential Rumi. Learning to be at peace with myself will be the most challenging of the three goals. Countless times I've gotten caught up in what I’m not, and forget to embrace the person that I am. This doesn't mean settling for less than who I'm meant to be, but it does mean practicing patience and grace with myself when I feel like I've let myself down.
Wishing you a lovely week, and hoping that you can take some time to consider what you want to manifest this year.